Currently Reading: The Five Love Languages

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This is one of those books that is popular in Christian circles along with, “The Purpose Driven Life” and “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. I know a lot of people who have read the book and talk often about how it changed their perspective on love and relationships, especially married couples. So I decided to give it a go.

I got the singles version of the book from the library and from there it continued to sit on my dresser. Periodically I would think about starting it or one of the many other books stacked on top of it. Occasionally I would get a reminder from the library, in which I would then have to renew it, again. By the third time, I thought perhaps I should finally get started. So I did. Turned out to be a good read.

The book, of course, talks about there being five different love languages and how we all need to receive love through each but one of them speaks more than the other. If the one we speak the most is not met then regardless of how much we get the other languages we are still empty.

It goes through how to tell which one is yours and how to tell what the languages are of other people. This part I thought was interesting because if you know someone else’s language then you knew how to love them properly.

So what is mine? Apparently, “quality time”.¬†Which makes sense, what I really want is for someone to just listen when I speak and just be in the room with me. I am also fine with acts of service, receiving gifts, and word of affirmation. The hard one for me is touch.

I don’t really like touching people or being touch. I can do minimal stuff but extended touching (i.e. sitting close to somebody or long hugs) really make me feel like there is something bubbling in my stomach and it won’t stop until we stop touching. Too long and I feel like running or making a loud uncomfortable noise.

I’m not sure why this is but it definitely the hardest one for me to reciprocate, especially if it is someone’s love language. I’m trying to do better with it, but sometimes I really just want to wear a shirt that says “Please don’t touch me,”.

I do recommend reading this book, it comes in various forms depending on your stage in life. It was very insightful about myself and my friends and family. I’ll definitely start putting this in practice.

Legacy

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One of the great women in my life passed away on Sunday, today was her funeral. Every moment she was in my thoughts one word kept reverberating in my head, legacy. Legacy is the testimony to the life we led, to the life we have left behind. Her legacy was one of love and steadfastness.

Every time I saw her she alway greeted me with a tight hug and a smile. She always asked how I was doing, gave me a word of encouragement, and prayed with me when I needed it. She had a sharp wit and a steady strength. She was small in body and always wore those high fashionable heels, but you knew she would always tell it like it is and never hold back. And when you were down she would just love on you without hesitation.

That was her legacy. It was a legacy of love, of strength, of “nothing is too hard for my God”, it is what I remember about her the most, it is what she has left me.

You see in the end your legacy isn’t about you. In the end your legacy becomes about those who were around you and what you left to them. You can spend your whole life thinking it is all about you and you alone and subsequently your legacy will be left to no one, for who will have it? But if you give yourself to others piece by piece in the end you find that you’re never really gone because those pieces you gave continue to live in those you gave them to.

Thank you for your legacy and the piece you gave to me.