Trust the Process

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Ever have a moment in your life when you feel like you are being stretched thin? Where it seems like you have so much to do that you can barely take a moment to breathe? These past two weeks have been like that for me.

My hours at work have been all over the place, I’m producing a webseries that, honestly, is going really well except for one slightly big problem that seems to keep throwing things in my face, and I think there may be something wrong with my car.

I feel like if I’m not working on one thing then I am working on the other and I am just stressing myself out  with worry and thinking I’m not doing enough.

So I stopped.

For the past two days I’ve cleared my mind and stopped thinking about those problems and focused on other things I needed to do like cut the grass and go grocery shopping. I even watched a movie on Netflix while eating my dinner.

Of course I continue to hear that nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I am wasting time and need to do more, but sometimes you just need to do what you can and trust the process. No, things won’t always come easily, but know when you’ve done all you can and when you need to take a break.

Today is a much needed break and tomorrow I hit the grind.

Goodbye 2014

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HELLOOOOOOO! I hope you all had a great holiday season. I, for one, was glad to have the day off. I spent Christmas in my pajamas and curled up with my Tardis cup and blanket to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special. Yes, that’s right, I’m a Whovian.

So now it is officially three days before the new year! How are those resolutions coming? What do you have planned for 2015? So this year, for me, hasn’t been what I wanted it to be and you know what, that’s on me. BUT that also means next year is on me too so there is always a possibility of change but only if I go for it.

Sometimes you need the perspective of someone else to look at your life to see you, to tell you things that you don’t really want to admit to yourself, but you need to hear. I hope you have someone like that and if not, find someone, it’s a huge help.

Have you been keeping track? Every night I write in a journal just what took place that day. Currently I am rereading it and discovering/remembering things about myself. There is a running theme, not a good one, that I don’t want to carry over into the new year. If you haven’t kept a journal or a record of each day I challenge you to do so for next year. It doesn’t have to be long. I usually keep it to a page with bullet point notes and then at the bottom I write my tasks for the next day.

Well I hope you have a great New Year and that next year will even be better than this last!

The End of the Year is Near!

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There are officially 17 days until the end of the year. How are those resolutions coming?

I do have to say that I have made some serious headway on my resolutions this year. I may not have accomplished all of them but I have done more than I have in the past. For instance I have yet to learn how to play the guitar BUT I did purchase a guitar on Sunday so now I am one step closer. I haven’t fully reached my fitness goal BUT I have been more consistent in working out than I have ever been. It’s the little things that slowly build up to the big.

So if you haven’t reached your goal this year, and end up having to put it down again for next year, don’t worry about it. Focus on the little things you did that have moved you toward your end goal and I bet you’ll see that you’ve done more than you thought.

Oh Those Little (Big) Setbacks

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You know that moment where things aren’t exactly as you want them yet you’ve seem to have hit this stride and things are starting to fall into place. It’s that moment where life finally seems to be picking up the pace and you are starting to move forward. Then suddenly, seemingly out of the blue, you are hit with something that practically throws you back to the start like nothing happened. You know a setback.

So I recently had and am currently dealing with my own slightly major setback. Things were picking up at work, I was making more money and therefore able to pay some things off, I even had extra to cover those Christmas gifts I would need to buy. But now I’m not sure where I stand. I kind of in limbo waiting for the dust to settle so I can know what my next step is. Sure I can plan for every scenario but at this point anything is fair game.

At first I was super upset about this and wondering how I was going to move forward, but now, looking from the outside, I can see it for what it is: a chance of other possibilities. Who knows where this setback can take me (I’m hoping somewhere interesting) but either way I’m going to take it in stride, just as it comes, and know that a setback is merely just a fork in the road.

Kick the Bucket

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What are your ultimate goals? What are the things you wish to accomplish before you “kick the bucket”? Sure we all have goals for this year, the next five years, and the next ten. But what is it you want to do? You know that list things you would have wished you have done if you were to die tomorrow.

As humans we always have this notion that tomorrow will always come that we will still be here next week and the year after. That isn’t always the case. They say work today and play tomorrow. I say play everyday. So here I am making a list of all the things I want to accomplish in my lifetime.  You should make one too and then go after them!

Bucket List:

  • Learn to play the guitar and be good at it
  • Travel across Europe
  • Visit all 7 continents
  • Win an oscar for best picture
  • Have a role on Doctor Who
  • Walk every major red carpet
  • Win an award at Sundace and Cannes
  • Sky dive
  • Become an accomplished novelist
  • Become fluent in at least two more languages
  • Complete at least 5 tours

This is just the beginning. More to come!

Unexpected Goal Making

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I have been biking regularly since April but I didn’t really expect to do more with it except exercise. After all I was using my mom’s 15 year old sears bike. However as I continued it became a bit more. I had mixed it with other forms of exercise but the other things felt forced and I dreaded doing them.

Biking however was always fun and I loved to push myself as much as I could. Then this came along: the Lifetime Grand Fondo, a tour with a choice of 15, 30, or 60 miles. I figured why not, and signed up, for the 15 of course.

Then it was suddenly like I got hold of a bug. I got a new bike off of Craigslist and updated it. Here’s the new bike:

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Yesterday was the event. 15 miles and one grueling hill that I had to take three times, also stopping twice to adjust my seat…. but in the end I made it!

I’ve made many goals for this year but this one wasn’t in the plan but it has become important nonetheless. It is amazing how things can change through out the year and small things can become goals. I am looking forward to my next bigger tour and new unexpected goals!

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Good Intentions

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Ever go to bed the night before thinking of all the things you’re going to get done tomorrow and how productive you will be and then when tomorrow gets here you suddenly don’t have the stamina you though you would and your productivity is left wanting? This is like my everyday off. All I want to do is sleep, read, watch tv, or bike. None of which includes writing, selling my scripts, or building my website.

See that comic up top? That is like my everyday when it comes to writing. Sometimes I think that maybe if I were to change my surrounding environment that would help but I’ve worked from home, the library, coffee shops, restaurants, and the like. I think maybe I should cut myself off from social media and the internet completely but distractions come in other forms like cleaning my bathroom, or suddenly needing to clear that pile of papers on my desk, or discovering I am out of milk and therefore having to go to the store.

Good intentions are great but they are just that, intentions. Unless there is a purpose or actions behind them they are meaningless. I need to get back on track so that my intentions become actions and that I don’t just wish I will be productive tomorrow but know that I had been productive today.

Seize the Opportunity and Forget the Worry

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The first time I worked on an actual movie set almost didn’t happen. At the time I had been working full-time as a hostess at a restaurant while getting my degree in Entertainment Business from an online program. To say that I was busy was an understatement. Then came along this film production.

In Minnesota we have indie films being made all the time but this was different. This had some decent A-list stars and for the first time I had an opportunity to apply to work on set. It was a really big opportunity in what had become a rather stagnant and slightly depressing time in my life.

Still I hesitated. 

Why? I was struggling financially. I was working 40 hours a week and barely making it. Even though I was living at home I still couldn’t seem to get ahead. I had no time, no money, and a very intense course load.

Even when I had applied I still had hesitation. Getting time off work was nearly impossible. They weren’t very lenient when it came to family emergencies how much more so when I wanted to go work for somebody else?

Even after I had interviewed and got the job as an Intern to the AD department (assistant director), I still was wrought with worry as to how I was to make this work. How would I get days off? How would I pay my bills? When would I get my homework done?

Then in a moment of clarity, I let it all go and stopped caring.

What is the difference between having no money then and no money now? Nothing. Even if is was super hard to get the days off that I needed, was it impossible? Nope. Couldn’t I switch my schedule up a bit and still get my homework done? Yep. It just took a lot of determination and a LOT of work.

It was totally worth it.

Working on that production turned out to be one of the best choices I made. I had a great time, meet great people in my industry, and for the first time I earned a credit of IMDB. And guess what? Everything worked out just fine with my bills, job, and school work.

Worrying is a part of our human nature but it is a fruitless emotion. It doesn’t help us move forward, it is a hinderance. If I had let myself to continue to worry until the point where I gave in to it I would have never had that experience I did.

You may be like me and be stuck in a dead-end/horrible job, trying hard to pay your bills, and wanting more out of life; but don’t let those things stop you from doing what you want and don’t let them worry you out of a great opportunity just because there are risks.

There will always be risks. There will always be worry. Forget the worry, take the risks, and seize the opportunity.

Picture is from the set of Thin Ice, the production I worked on.

How to Have a “Me Year”

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First question is… What is a “Me Year”? This is what it is as stated in my About page:

It is when you say enough is enough. When you decide that for once your dreams are going to scream louder than your bills. When you stop making excuses and start doing. When instead of letting things hold you back you use them to push you forward. When failures happen because you tried not because you gave up. When you decide that the sacrifice it’s going to take is worth what you want. And when you realize that dreams come true not because you wished them true but because you made them happen. That is a Me Year. It’s not about being selfish or saying it’s all about me. It’s about saying that TODAY and EVERYDAY this year I am going to the necessary steps to make my dream come true, to have a better life, to give back not hold back, to be a better person, and to finish the year in VICTORY.

So how does one have a Me Year?

1. Set goals

Much like every New Year when you set resolutions, for a Me Year you need to set goals. This can range from tasks you want to complete, things you want to learn, places you want to visit, and achievements you want to pursue.

For instance here are some things on my list:

  • Buy a guitar and learn to play it.
  • Go on vacation twice!
  • Produce a film
  • Finish writing Two scripts
  • Exercise four times per week.
  • Blog five times per week

These goals are slightly vague but you can make them as detailed as you would like. For instance instead of “Buy a guitar and learn to play it” I can specifically write what kind of guitar and what kinds of songs I want to learn. It doesn’t have to be that specific, just as long as you know what they are.

Be sure to keep your goals in a prominent place so that you remind yourself what it is you are trying to achieve. Make sure it is a place that you always see like a bathroom mirror, refrigerator, or desk.

2. Create a plan of action

This is super important. It’s one thing to write down goals it is another to understand how you can execute them. For instance for my plan to write a script I would break it down into what I am writing and how often.

A plan of action also includes deadlines. When do you want this project to be done? How long will you spend on it each day or each week? If you fall behind how will you make it up?

When you set a deadline you are making a conscious decision to get it done. It also helps to make small deadlines as well. Such as I will finish three pages each day until I reach my goal but my deadline will be May 20th.

3. Act

Now that you have set your goals and your deadlines of when you want to achieve it now you have to act on it. Like they say,”no better time than the present”. You’ve done all that planning now it’s time to take action. All you have to do is start.

4. Stay Diligent

It’s easy to get off track and find other things of interest and not have the time. In all honesty the things we have time for are the things we make time for. If you never make time for your goals then they will never get done.

There are times of course where life happens and we have set back and things don’t work out as we have planned. That’s okay. Just stay diligent and continue to work towards your goal as best as you can, little by little and before you know it, you’ve achieved your goal.

What are you make part of your “Me Year”?